Rein In Us!

So, I play guitar and I express how I feel through playin my guitar. It is also one of the ways I talk with God and how He talks to me. The chorus and bridge by Starfield expresses how I feel.

C G
Oh Great and Mighty One, with one desire we come
Dm C F G
That You would reign, that You would reign in us
C G
We're offering up our lives, a living sacrifice
Dm C F G
That You would reign, that You would reign in us


G F C G
We cry out for Your life to revive us, cry out
F C G
For Your love to defy us, cry out
F C Am Gsus G
For Your mercy to keep us blameless until You return


F C G
So, reign please reign in us
F C G
Come purify our hearts, we need Your touch
F C G
Come cleanse us like a flood and send us out
F C G
So the world may know You reign you reign in us


So this is what has been going on in my heart. My life the past few years has been characterized by deceit, dishonesty and sexual immorality. I would lie to people about things I knew they wouldn't wanna hear. I struggled with pornography and answering personals on craigslist and talking to people I didn't know so I wouldn't feel alone and/or to satisfy physical wants and desires. My relationships were not holy, they ware very physical and in some I was sexually active. The pursuit of Christ was always a goal, however, it never was made a priority. Sin had consumed me like Venom to Spider Man. Instead of being consumed by the Spirit, I was consumed by sin and sin is the separation from God.

The thing is, during those years, I was working for a campus ministry and a church. I am amazed at how two-faced I was, that I was one person when doing church stuff, but when I was alone, or with my girlfriend, I was another person. Not only did I bring myself down, but I brought down those who I dated. I tried a few times to turn from my sin and return to God. However, this would not last and I would fall right back into my old habits.

In October 2009, I heard a quote from one of the wisest men I know. "I feel that most of us are far more educated than our level of obedience." This was said based off of James 1:22-25.

22Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.

I have looked into the mirror of my soul for so long and never done anything.I've always known I need to do something and even how to do it, but my lethargic self has been less that willing to cooperate with the Spirit burning within me. Well...now I am doing something. I am sick and tired of surrendering my life to other gods and idols. Christ is my one true love and it's about time I start showing that and living it! My life verse is Isaiah 26:8 which states (as interpreted by me)

"Lord, as we walk in Your ways, we eagerly wait for You! For it is Your name and Your RENOWN that are the desire of our souls!"

The other day, I was walking from my dorm to the student center which is about a five minute walk. The entire way over there, I heard footsteps behind me. I never looked behind me because I was afraid to. Why was I? was I scared of what I would see? Maybe the person behind me would give me an odd look? In my heart, I could hear God telling me that He has been chasing after me for quite some time and I have been afraid to look behind me, scared of what He might reveal to me. A few days later, I traveled to Knoxville for a sports card show. I was supposed to be in Kingsport at a discipleship now weekend, but I was called and told I was no longer needed (but still getting paid). On the way there, I had a great worship session in my truck. I had another awesome worship session on the way back. When I got back to my dorm, I changed and went to the mountains to spend alone time with my Father. I didn't say one word while I was there. I just stood, sat, walked and ran in the midst of His splendor. It was there that I really learned how to worship and live a life pleasing to my Savior.

So God, this is my prayer:

"Take my life, I lay it down
At the cross where I am found
All I have I give to You, oh God

Take my hands and make them clean
Keep my heart in purity
That I may walk in all You have for me

Oh, here I stand arms open wide
Oh, I am Yours and You are mine Jesus

Take my moments and my days
Let each breath that I take
Be ever only for You, oh God

My whole life is Yours, I give it all
Surrendered to Your name
And forever I will pray
Have Your way, have Your way"


*Lyrics from Reign In Us by Starfield and Arms Open Wide by Hillsong